.Publisher's Keep in mind: The adhering to is the text of a letter from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reflecting on the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written significantly about specifics of this objective during the month I have actually been actually here, mainly for two factors: the 1st being that there has actually been really little bit of time to perform that type of creating, and also secondly given that I'm uncertain just how relaxed I am discussing thoughts I show friends and family with the remainder of the planet.Well, definitely the globe altered today. What I claim or carry out is actually quite slight compared to the importance of what took place to our country today when it was assaulted through ... by whom? Terrorists is actually all we understand, I think. Hard to understand at whom to point our anger as well as fear ...I had actually only ended up a lot of activities this morning, the most lengthy being the physical examinations of all workers participants. In a personal conversation observing that, the tour plastic surgeon informed me they were possessing an extremely bad day on the ground. I had no tip ...He defined the situation to me as greatest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually thrown for a loop, then frightened. My very first thought and feelings was actually that this had not been a real talk, that I was actually still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It only didn't seem possible on this scale in our country. I could not even think of the particulars, even prior to the news of additional destruction began being available in.Vladimir dropped in pretty swiftly, noticing that something extremely significant was actually being covered. I swayed Michael right into the element too. They were actually additionally amazed and also stunned. After we signed off, I attempted to clarify to Vladimir and Michael as finest I could possibly the prospective measurement of the show of terror in downtown Manhattan as well as at the Pentagon. They accurately comprehended as well as were really supportive.I glanced at the World Chart on the computer to find where over the planet our experts were actually and also discovered that our experts were happening southeast away from Canada and also will be actually passing over New England in a couple of minutes. I zoomed around the terminal till I discovered a home window that would offer me a sight of New York City as well as grabbed the local camera. It occurred to be a video camera, and also I was actually looking southern coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to possess a strange flower to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the city. After checking out some of the news articles we only acquired, I believe our experts were actually looking at NY around the moment of, or shortly after, the crash of the 2nd tower. How awful ...I scanned the video camera the whole time the East Coastline to the south to view if I could possibly observe every other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, but nothing showed up.It was rather hard to think about job afterwards, though our company possessed some to accomplish, however on the next track our team moved across the US additional south. All three of us were actually working one or two cams to try to receive sights of New york city or Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, but no specific source may be seen. Everything looked extraordinary coming from two to three hundred miles away. I can't visualize the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Other than the psychological influence of our country being actually dealt with and also lots of our consumers as well as perhaps some close friends being gotten rid of, one of the most overwhelming feeling being actually where I am actually is just one of solitude.Next day ... I think the tiredness and mental pressure received the most effective of me. I could not keep awake as well as remain to compose. Today was still challenging, yet our company began getting additional information, plus we had the honor of speaking directly with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who ensured our team that the ground teams will continue to work as well as ensure our security, as well as the secure operation of the Station. Our team also heard from our Manager, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the System are actually all completely devoted to carrying on secure procedures and also support. These were never inquiries for me. I understand all these people! The ground crews have actually been exceptionally supportive, incredibly understanding of the influence of the news, and have actually made an effort to become as valuable as achievable. They have actually all been really expert and focused though I can not visualize the disturbance of the form of updates coming in and the notion that authorities structures could be in jeopardy. They never skipped a beat, even when moving nerve center. And a group of senior personnel as well as pals offered our company a quite complete instruction about what was actually understood as well as what was actually being carried out in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was extremely useful and also sort of all of them to accomplish in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has likewise been encouraging and also valuable, making an effort to uplink news articles when our own assets were actually unusable, and claiming kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually excellent, too. They know it is actually been a difficult time for me and the individuals on the ground, and also they have actually tried to be as even keeled and also valuable as possible. Michael even fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. As well as they offer me loads of area to think when I needed it. They are extremely thoughtful as well as certainly shocked at whoever will do this.I know many folks in Washington, numerous folks who travel to DC and also NYC, plenty of that are actually aviators, that I experienced sure I will receive a minimum of a couple of parts of trouble over the next few times. I received the 1st one today when I found out that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that hit the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic in the course of cadet summer months when we were in the D&B all together, as well as our experts had considerable amounts of lessons together. I can't imagine what he has to of experienced, and right now I hear that he might possess climbed further than our company can easily also think of by perhaps stopping his aircraft from being the one to deal with the White Property. What a terrible loss, yet I'm sure Chic was fighting fearlessly throughout. And also rips don't move the same in space ...It is actually tough to explain just how it feels to become the only United States totally off the earth at a time like this. The feeling that I must exist along with each one of you, dealing with this, assisting in some way, is actually difficult. I recognize that we get on the limit (or past) of a dreadful switch in the past history of the world. Several factors are going to never ever be the same again after September 11, 2001. Not just for the 1000s and also countless people directly impacted through these horrendous acts of terrorism, yet possibly for everybody. Our company are going to discover our own selves feeling in a different way about lots of factors, consisting of probably room expedition, sadly.It's awful to find smoke cigarettes pouring from wounds in your very own nation coming from such a wonderful perspective. The duality of getting on a space probe devoted to strengthening live on the planet and enjoying life being ruined through such deliberate, terrible actions is actually jolting to the subconscious, despite who you are. And also the knowledge that whatever are going to be actually various than when our company launched by the opportunity we land is a little disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our leadership that our team will perform whatever achievable to much better defend her and our family members, as well as to bring justice of what has actually been actually carried out. I have assurance that the good people at NASA will do every little thing important to proceed our purpose securely and also return us safely at the correct time. As well as I miss every one of you very much. I can't be there along with you personally, as well as we possess a very long way to go to complete our purpose, however be certain that my soul is actually with you, and also recognize you remain in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final character ... Fortunately, it's been a hectic full week up below. And also to confirm that, like our country, we are continuing on our planned course along with business as usual (as long as possible). Tonight the most recent addition to the place, the Russian Docking Compartment will be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (US opportunity), it will definitely dock along with our company, at a port certainly never made use of before on the nadir edge of the Solution Module. This brand new element will certainly provide us one more spot to dock a Progress or Soyuz as well as are going to deliver a large airlock along with 2 useable hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which our company are going to do a few of just before our company get home.The issue just before in dealing with today was too little updates. The trouble right now is actually too much. It came at one time when email was rejuvenated, as well as there's inadequate time to read everything! Plus it's too challenging to manage all of it instantly. However I value acquiring it, and also I definitely enjoy the excellent characters of support and friendship I am actually acquiring.Our team are doing well on board, obtaining our work done, as well as referring to things. Final evening our company had a lengthy conversation over dinner concerning the implication of these events, the possible actions to adhere to, and also what ought to be actually done. After supper, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he received coming from buddies in Russia claimed primarily to tell me just how sorry they were actually that this happened, stretching their condolences, and inquiring just how I was actually doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "acknowledgements" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Urban area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are much extremely long to verbalize quickly.) Very types individuals.For the last pair of days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to broadcast real-time broadcasts of radio headlines concerning the occasion as well as associated tales, to make sure I was actually effectively educated. Every expert that has come on the line to talk about a method or even a problem contends some factor expanded introductions to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that because of the big day of recognition in the US, throughout the day folks had actually been actually carrying blossoms as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, as well as this evening they were actually lighting candlesticks in the street outside the consular office. Just how the planet has actually altered.Folks just about everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness and also terror in this assault. And also the enormous loss. Moscow has taken care of these sort of problems in the last handful of years with home and also subway battles, so they are as troubled to eliminate this threat as our experts are. But the bottom line is actually that there are good individuals almost everywhere that want to reside in tranquility. I check out that a child talked to, "United States is actually therefore good to other countries, our experts constantly help every person, exactly how can they hate our company a lot?".I wish the example of collaboration and also depend on that this space probe and all individuals in the program display daily will someday inspire the remainder of the globe to operate the same way. They must!Sadly, our experts will not be piloting over the US while individuals are actually lighting candle lights. Do not recognize if our experts could possibly view that anyway. Our experts performed, having said that, see a really unique and beautiful view a handful of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our company were actually overtaking it as well as it emerged about 3 minutes after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight struck our terminal, so it was still at night. It appeared like a sizable comet along with a straight, broad rear silhouetted versus the black world underneath. Regardless of some poor lights for some time as the sunshine struck our home window at a low position, I managed some video recording of it as first we passed the spacecraft, and after that viewed it start to catch up as it acquired altitude and also rate. I shot until primary engine deadline and booster separation developed equally our team moved toward daybreak on the Himalayas. A remarkable sight in a remarkable week ...Life happens, even precede. Our company are actually listed here to keep ... Frank.